Pillow Chat
by Right4Me
Summary: Cooper and Charlotte have some genuine pillow chat to clear everything up before they get married.
1. Chapter 1

**Discalimer- I do not own these characters. Private Practice does. I just like to play with them!**

* * *

Chapter one

**It's ten pm and Charlotte scoots into bed next to a sleeping Cooper. She rests her head on his shoulder and lays her hand on his chest. After a minute, Cooper opens his eyes. "Welcome home," he greets wrapping his arm underneath her back and around her arm.**

"**I didn't mean to wake you," she answers.**

"**It's okay. I'm glad you did." He looks down and gives her a soft peck on the top of her head. "Late night at St. Ambrose?"**

"**Tell me about it," she huffs "It was one of those days where everything goes wrong."**

"**Oh," he shrugs. "What happened?"**

"**Well," she begins swirling her fingers on his chest over his t shirt. "I got out of Oceanside later than expected, so I was late for my staff meeting at St. Ambrose, which no one was too happy about. Then the meeting went an hour overtime because everyone has issues."**

**Cooper smirks "Ain't that the truth!" **

**Charlotte continues "Then, I had to do my rounds and after that I had to catch up on paperwork. Plus, I had to prepare for tomorrow mornings' meeting with the hospital board. And to top it off we can't even have sex tonight to blow off steam."**

**Cooper chuckles. "Yeah, I noticed you're wearing your granny pajamas and that can only mean two things."**

"**What?" Charlotte asks.**

"**Either your sick or you've got your period."**

"**Well, I don't want to wear anything that might excite you." She quirks up an eyebrow.**

"**Char you can turn me on in a ski outfit. He laughs and squeezes her arm. "Isn't it early? I thought you weren't due to get it until around the 16****th****?"**

**She wrinkles her nose. "You keep tract of my period?"**

**He shakes his head. "Yeah, it's good to know so I can be prepared for your mood swings."**

**Charlotte gives him a little punch in the arm and chuckles. "Yeah, that's another thing I was in the middle of my staff meeting when I got my period three days early."**

**Cooper groans, "Not good. What'd you do?"**

"**I stayed in my seat until everyone left." She sighs. "Good thing I keep a change of underwear in the bottom of my desk."**

**Cooper laughs.**

"**This is nice though just lying with you and talking about stuff." Charlotte nuzzles her nose into his chest.**

"**Uhmm, it is nice." Cooper responds.**

"**I know there are more important things we need to talk about, that we've been putting off because of Dells' death and all but it's nice to talk about nothing too." Charlotte rambles.**

"**When are we going to talk about the important stuff?" Cooper asks.**

**Charlotte takes a deep breath and lets it out. "I guess now is as good as ever."**

**Cooper squeezes her tight. "I'll go first. Okay?"**

**"****Hmm hmm" She answers quietly.**

"**The reason I got so angry when you told me you were married before is because I felt like I was just a replacement for your ex-husband."**

**Charlotte lifts her head up to look at him. "What? Why? You were never a replacement Cooper not in a million years."**

"**I know but there is something I never told you." He goes on. "My parents had a son, Andrew, who died a few years before they adopted me and they never told me, I found out by accident."**

"**How did you find out?"**

" **I was about ten years old and I was playing in the attic. I found a big box and opened it. It was filled up with pictures of Andrew and my parents since he was a baby. There were school projects and mother's day cards from Andrew to my mom so I figured out he was their kid. I didn't want to ask them so I asked my grandmother."**

"**What did she tell you?"**

"**She told me Andrew was their natural born son and when he was eight years old they found out he had a brain tumor, a grade 4 medullablastoma."**

"**N****ot good." Charlotte replies.**

"**No, apparently he had been complaining of headaches for a while but my mother didn't think it was any big deal and didn't take him to the doctor. It wasn't until he woke up vomiting every morning for about a week that my parents brought him to the doctor and they discovered the brain tumor."**

"**That must have been a horror for them." Charlotte rubs his chest with her hand.**

"**I can't even imagine." Cooper shakes his head. "My grandmother said my mother was full of guilt for not taking him to the doctor sooner. She cried every night about it."**

"**How long did he live after the diagnosis?" Charlotte asks**

"**Only a few months. He did chemotherapy but the cancer had already spread by then." **

"**That's awful." Charlotte comments.**

"**My grandmother told me not to mention it to my parents because it would upset them too much." **

"**So you thought you were a replacement for Andrew?" Charlotte asks.**

"**I felt that way for a long time. My grandmother said my parents tried to have another baby after Andrew died but it didn't work and they were getting older so they decided to adopt."**

"**And that's where little Cooper comes in."**

"**Yup, I was the lucky one. They adopted _me_. I mean it though, my parents were great, they gave me everything I needed. I was the only child so got all the attention. They weren't rich but they tried to give me everything I wanted. They spoiled me rotten." He confesses.**

"**Sounds like you had a happy childhood." Charlotte smiles to him.**

"**I did, except for feeling like I was their replacement child, like they would much rather have Andrew around to do everything with instead of me, but since Andrew was gone I was there to fill in for him."**

"**That's sad."**

"**I know they loved me but I also know if Andrew didn't die they would be with him and not me. I'm sure if they could do things differently they would rather have their natural son alive and never have had to meet me. And that's how I felt about you and your ex after you told me you were married."**

**"****How could you think that?" Charlotte asks gently.**

"**I always thought I was your first love. You're mine." Cooper kisses her head.**

"**That's sweet." She answers.**

"**When I found out I wasn't your first love, that you had been in love before with someone else I felt those same feelings come back. I felt like if whatever happened with your ex didn't happen you would still be with him and not me. And that thought was just to hard to swallow because I love you so much Char. I wanted you to feel the same about me."**

"**I do Cooper. I do feel the same about you."**

"**Then why didn't you tell me about him earlier. Why did you hide it for so long?"**

"**Because I was scared." She answers quietly.**

"**Scared of what?" Cooper asks.**

"**Scared of what you would think of me if you knew the person I used to be."**

"**Charlotte, I want you to be able to tell me anything. We're getting married, you can't be scared to tell me things."**

"**I don't like to think about the old me. I've moved on and I don't like to think about it let alone tell people about it."**

"**Will you tell me now?" He asks gently.**

"**If you promise to still love me." She looks in his eyes.**

"**I promise." he tells her looking back in her eyes. He can't imagine what she is so scared to tell him.**

* * *

Review please!

The more reviews the sooner I put up the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter two_

_**Charlotte is snuggled up against Cooper, trying to figure out a way to tell him about who she used to be.**_

"_**Go ahead. It's your turn." He gently nudges her.**_

_**She takes a deep breath and sighs. "Promise me you'll still love me after I tell."**_

"_**I already did. You're starting to scare me, Char. Did you kill someone?" he asks.**_

"_**Noooo!" **_**She lifts her head up and looks at him disapprovingly. She smacks his shoulder. "No, I didn't kill anyone."**

"**Then what could be so bad?" he chuckles.**

"**Ohhhh." She shakes her head and looks up at the ceiling. "Where do I begin?"**

"**At the beginning." He squeezes her arm.**

"**Okay, here goes." She takes a breath in. "I grew up in small town Alabama with my momma and Big Daddy and my two brothers. We lived in a large plantation house in the backwoods of a rural community."**

"**I know that already, Charlotte. I've been to your house and met your family."**

"**Cooper! Just let me tell this my way."**

"**Okay," Cooper agrees. He wants to hear about her marriage and here Charlotte is talking about her childhood but he'll listen. He stays still and quiet as she talks softly.**

**"My brothers and I spent our summer days horseback riding and playing in the woods by our house. I wasn't allowed to leave our property because Big Daddy was very protective, especially of me being the only girl. I didn't have many friends. I just played with my brothers."**

"**That's sad." Cooper looks down at her. "All little girls should have a friend."**

"**I did at school but I could never go to anyone's house or have anyone over 'cuz of momma."**

"**Why 'cuz of momma?" Cooper asks.**

"**Big daddy thought the town people were all nosy and if they knew about momma's pill problem they would all gossip. Big Daddy tried to hide it from everyone so no neighbors, not even the kids were allowed to our house."**

"**Sounds very lonely for you and your brothers."**

"**W****e had each other." Charlotte thinks back. "I had a lot of fun with my brothers catching frogs and climbin' trees. I guess I became a tomboy on account of them, but I loved school. I loved going to school so I could see and play with other kids while I was there. I would even go in when I was sick, didn't want to sit home with the nanny, ya know?"**

"**I don't know but I could understand you were lonely," Cooper answers.**

"**As I got older I used to sneak out of the house late at night to meet up with friends. I met Jessica in high school. She was my best friend. We got in with the wrong crowd. We started smoking and hanging out drinking beer at the park at night."**

"**Oh!" Cooper answers. "Well, they say kids of strict parents turn out to be the wildest."**

"**I got a thrill out of it. I'd sneak out of my window at night. My friends would pick me up in their car and we'd go out drinking and smoking all night. My parents never knew."**

"**What kinds of friends? Guys or girls?" Cooper asks.**

"**Both, but they were just friends. We never did anything like you're thinking. We were all just friends that hung out, drinking and smoking together."**

"**That doesn't sound so horrible; nothing to be afraid to talk about," Cooper tells her.**

"**It ****got worse as I got older and went off to college,"**

"**What happened in college?"**

"**Jessica and I were excited because we got accepted into the same University. We were**** free there to do whatever we wanted. No parents checking up on us. We drank and smoked and started doing some heavier stuff at parties."**

"**What kind of stuff?" Cooper asks.**

"**I****llegal stuff."**

"**Oh, but you were in college Charlotte. I'm not going to hold that against you if that's what you're so worried about..."**

**Charlotte interrupts,"It gets worse."**

"**Okay," Cooper says as her rubs her arm.**

**"My roommate, Jessica, and I were out partying with friends one night and we got into a car accident on the way home."**

**"Was anyone hurt?" Cooper asks.**

**"Jessica was killed along with the mother of that innocent family we crashed into."**

**"Who was driving?" Cooper asks.**

**"She was... my roommate...my best friend... Jessica was." Charlotte gets teary. "We did everything together."**

**"At least _you_ weren't driving the car when it crashed into those innocent people." Cooper tries to comfort her.**

**"I'm just as guilty," Charlotte explains. "I let her drive knowing she was high. It's just as much my fault as hers that that innocent mother died. Jessica paid for it with her life. I'm still living with the guilt." Tentatively, she askes him, "Do you still want to marry me?" **

**"Yes. ****You have to forgive yourself, Charlotte." Cooper wipes a tear rolling down Charlotte's cheek with his thumb.**

"**I went bonkers when I found Jessica lying dead in the street. She was thrown from the car. T****hey took me to the hospital and found out I had drugs in my system."**

**"****Were you hurt?" Cooper asks.**

**"I ****fractured my wrist. I hardly noticed the pain because I was so high and traumatized by what just happened. Other than that, I just had some minor bumps and bruises."**

**"Did they press charges for the drugs?"**

**"No, ****I wasn't driving the car. But they did call my parents. Big Daddy threw a huge hissy fit and wanted to pull me out of school."**

"**I can't blame him."**

**"I didn't want to go home to Alabama with him. I wouldn't have easy access to drugs if I was living there. I had connections at the University."**

**Cooper stops her. "Wait, you still wanted to do drugs after all that?"**

**"I needed the drugs more than ever. I needed them to help take away the pain and forget because everytime I closed my eyes, I would see Jessica lying bloody and broken in the middle of the road. But Big daddy was insistent on taking me home."**

**"Did you go?"**

**"Hell no. I told Big daddy if he took me home I would run off and never call them or speak to them again."**

**"So what happened?" Cooper's listening intently.**

**"Big daddy knew I meant it and he didn't want to take that chance of losing me so he made me sign up for a campus rehab program and in return he would continue to pay for me to go to college there. I agreed to it. I signed up for the rehab program on campus and that's where I met _him_."**

"**Met who?" Cooper asks.**

"**Michael, my ex-husband. He was a medical student doing a rotation there. I became his thesis. He had to do a paper on me and my rehabilitation. It was his job to get me cleaned up."**

"**Oh, I see. I guess you guys got close then?"**

"**Very close. I went into rehab not wanting to get clean. Remember, I still wanted and needed the drugs but Michael was determined to help me get clean. He knew about the accident and Jessica dying. He genuinely wanted to help me. He would follow me around and check up on me. I didn't mind because he was eye candy, ya know? All my roommates back at the dorm wished they could be his assignment. But he was mine."**

**Cooper huffs and sighs. "Then what happened?"**

"**Mike**** would make deals with me. If I could go a whole week without anything including beer or weed, he would take me out to dinner and a movie; stuff like that."**

"**And did it work?" Cooper asks.**

"**It**** was the best incentive. It was better than those meetings I had to attend every week. After a while I _wanted _to stay clean. Michael became my new drug. I would call him whenever I had a craving for drugs and he would just drop everything and come stay with me until the urge passed. Soon, I started calling him and saying I had a craving for drugs just to get him to come over and sit with me. That way I knew he wasn't out with another girl."**

"**You were falling for him?"**

**"****Uhm hmm. Besides being hot eye candy, he was a nice guy and he genuinely cared about me. I felt good around him. He wanted to see me get better. Mike helped me set goals with my school work and he helped me study. He convinced me to take pre-med classes. I always wanted to be a doctor but even more so after Jesicca and that woman died. I thought it would make me a better person if I could save even just one life but I was worried I couldn't handle the pressure of med school and residency without falling back on drugs. Mike gave me the confidence and support and he helped me sign up for the right pre-med classes in college. He studied with me and soon we fell in love. He was my first love."**

"**I'm your second?"**

"**Yes. I didn't love anyone again after him until I met you. I promised myself I would never fall in love again... until I met you. I couldn't help falling in love with you." She reaches up and gives him a soft, quick kiss on the lips.**

"**What kind of wedding did you have?"**

**Charlotte thinks back. "I was Big daddy's only girl so he wanted to give me a fairytale wedding. He loved Mike like a son for turning my life around and helping me get into med school. Big daddy went all out. There were over 400 people. I didn't know half of them between all of Big daddy's business associates and Michaels' big family. But it was a beautiful, elegant wedding. We had it on the grounds of my family's estate."**

"**How long were you married?"**

"**Two years. We got married the summer right after I graduated college, and right before I started medical school. Mike was a resident by then and we had crazy schedules. You know how residency is; sometimes I wouldn't see him for days."**

"**So, what happened?"**

"**The first year everything seemed to be going okay. At least **_**I thought so. **_**Big daddy gave us money to put towards buying our own house**_**. **_**My family is well off**_**."**_

**"I gathered as much."**

"_**I was adjusting well to medical school. If I ever needed any help Mike and his resident friends would help me out since they'd already been through it. It was nice. We had the same group of friends and we used to get together every weekend for dinner and a movie, that is when Mike wasn't at the hospital."**_

"_**Okay, so the first year went well. What happened the second year?"**_

"_**Well," Charlotte swallows. "I thought everything was going well but I guess I was young and in love, and naïve."**_

"_**Did he cheat on you?"**_

"_**Yeah. He started to drift away from me . I thought he was just tired from pulling extra shifts at the hospital. But it turns out he wasn't really working. His friend Rose... well my friend Rose... I guess our friend ...She came to see me one day. She said that Mike had been sleeping around. I was shocked. She said he had been doing it for a while but none of our friends had the heart to tell me. I was devastated. I trusted him with my life, my heart. I didn't think that he was capable of hurting me like that."**_

"**W**_**hy did Rose decide to finally tell you?"**_

"_**Because, apparently, he got one of the nurses he worked with at the hospital pregnant and she was due any day. Rose just couldn't take it anymore-me not knowin', me bein' in the dark."**_

"_**Oh, Charlotte! That's…" **_

"_**I know,I know," She tells him.**_

"_**Did you confront him?" Cooper asks.**_

"_**I did and he cried and told me he was sorry and all that garbage. I mean, how do you get another woman pregnant if you're already married?"**_

"**I-I-I**_** don't know," Cooper answers. "I take it you were devastated?"**_

"**I was and m**_**ad as hell! I told him I hated him and kicked him out of the house Big Daddy paid for. He begged and groveled and pleaded for forgiveness but I wasn't willing to give it."**_

"_**I can't blame you." Cooper squeezes her arm.**_

_**"I left town for a little while. I went back home. I didn't want to be around when his baby was born. I was heartbroken. I came so close to falling back on old habits, but Big daddy watched over me like a hawk. Mike called me everyday begging me to forgive him and take him back. He said he loved me and he wanted to find a way to make it work."**_

"_**After a few months, I calmed down and decided to give our marraige another chance. The nurse gave their baby up for adoption so I went back to our house, the one Big daddy bought for us. I just showed up. I wanted to surprise Mike but instead I was the one that was surprised. I found him living there with some other woman he met after I left. He said he was just with her to numb the pain of me leaving but I'd had it by then. I mean, we weren't even divorced yet and he had the nerve to let her move into our house, sleep in our bed."**_

"_**What'd you do?"**_

"_**I left town again and this time I went back to my old ways."**_

"_**What do you mean?" Cooper asks, dreading the answer.**_

"_**I started using again and I lost control. I started doing harder stuff than I ever did before. I was like Heather, Dell's wife. I was in bad shape, Cooper."**_

"_**How'd you get out?" **_

"_**They found me face-down in a hotel room. I overdosed, pretty much hit rock bottom. They took me to a hospital and called my family. My parents checked me into the best rehab they could find in the country and I got better. It took me a while but I did eventually. I went back to medical school and got my life back on track. Big daddy told me I shouldn't trust myself or my heart with men again and I should just concentrate on becoming the best damn doctor I could be."**_

_**Cooper shakes his head.**_

"_**I moved out here to get far away from Mike and all our old friends. I still can't take any pills, not even Tylenol because I'm afraid of what could happen."**_

_**"Charlotte I wish you would have told me."**_

"_**I was afraid. I was ashamed. I saw how y'all reacted when Dell married Heather. I saw how y'all looked at her-like, once and addict, always an addict- and I don't want y'all to look at me like that, especially you Cooper, because I love you." **_

_**Cooper kisses the top of her head.**_

"_**Do you still love me?" She asks softly.**_

"_**I love you more than ever." He squeezes her tight.**_

"_**You don't think of me differently?"**_

"_**Of course not. I love you no matter what."**_

_**She looks at him with tears in her eyes. "Cooper, thank you for making me fall in love with you."**_

"_**I made you fall in love with me?"**_

"_**You were persistent. I tried to fight it. Remember when you wanted me to go to Africa and touch monkeys**__** with you? I knew I was falling for you even then. That's why I didn't want to go. I was afraid to fall in love with you."**_

"_**Because of what he did?"**_

"_**Yes. I trusted him with my life, my heart and he stomped on it. I couldn't take the chance that someone might betray me like that again. Sometimes, on my worst days I think that, maybe, he just married me for my family's money."**_

**_"Do you really believe that?" Cooper asks._**

**_"I don't know. I never imagined he would cheat on me when I married him. I didn't know what to believe and who to trust after that."_**

_**Cooper lifts up her chin and looks in her eyes. **_**_"You can trust me. I'd never hurt you like that." _**

**_"I was really scared to trust again," Charlotte confesses._**

_**"Y'know, my grandma Irene used to say that you need to suffer through the big rainstorm in order to see the rainbow." Cooper raises his eyebrows and looks at her.**_

**_"I've been through the storm and you're my rainbow." Charlotte nuzzles her nose into his neck._**

**_"You're my rainbow too." He hugs her a minute, then he tells her "_**_**I love you and I promise I will never stray. You're the only woman I'm interested in sharing my life with."**_

**"**_**I'm gonna hold you to that." She leans up and kisses him on the lips and he kisses her back with a passion that would last a lifetime.**_

* * *

**Please Review**

**Thank You to The Minds Eye for being an AWESOME beta for this chapter!**


End file.
